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Joke of the Day

"I heard they're making a revival of a show once Donald Trump is elected I'm going to love watching the new Orange is the New Black."

"Remember to practise safe phone sex. You don't want to risk getting hearing AIDS."

"A little girl says to her Mother: Girl: Mom, I'm Bleeding. Mother: That's OK sweetie. It's just a sign you're becoming a woman. Girl: OK I was just worried about this axe in my shoulder."

"What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make? Baby elephants."

"What's the difference between my girlfriend and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when I smack it"

"Bill Clinton must be the luckiest man in the world. All of the sex he has, with Hillary, you know it's hate sex."

"A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband She asks, ""Do I look fat in this dress?"" He replies, ""Do I look dumb in this shirt?"""

"I've wanted to have a conversation with my wife about getting each of us Segways to ride around town in... But whenever I bring it up she always changes the topic."

"Why is it so hard to contact comedians? Because their marketing is a joke."

"Is LSD illegal or just frowned upon? Asking for a giant purple rabbit."