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Joke of the Day

"I heard they're making a revival of a show once Donald Trump is elected I'm going to love watching the new Orange is the New Black."

"Someone asked me the other day, ""What's with those clogs you keep wearing?"" I replied, ""Wooden shoe like to know."""

"A guy goes to his doctor. The doctor says to him, ""You need to stop masturbating"". The patient says ""What? Why?"". The doctor replies ""So I can examine you"""

"What does the sign on an out of business brothel say? Beat it, we're closed!"

"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"

"How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? You take away its tiny brooms."

"My father's such a condescending man ... Since he died he's always looked down on me."

"Princess Diana died of dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glove box."

"TIL ninjas only have sex in the dark... That way you can't see them coming."

"What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza? A pizza doesn't shoot up a school."