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Joke of the Day

"Bon Jovi published a diet book It's called ""Living on a Pear"""

"I like that I'm not a celebrity. It means I can call people 'retards' and I don't have to apologize."

"I saw a BMW driving safely and being respectful of other drivers today. That was the joke."

"Ferguson, MO In the after hours bars where the cops in Ferguson hang out, the most popular tipple is a 'Jim Crow': that's a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Old Crow - served separate, but equal."

"Sometimes it's better to keep using the wrong key until you find the right lock."

"What is green and has wheels Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"""You look like a million bucks"", said Bill Gates disappointedly to his wife."

"Why the hate for necromancers?T They're just trying to raise a family."

"Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other."

"Real laziness is being excited when plans get canceled."