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Joke of the Day

"Real laziness is being excited when plans get canceled."

"Officer: Sir, we have reports you've trained this bird to injure passersby. Me: Ridiculous! O: The pet's name? M: Paul the Attack Canary."

"Last words of an electrician... ... ""the fuck dis cable?"""

"I enjoy political jokes... I just don't like when they get elected."

"I aim to be so strong I can kill a hurricane"

"Why did the lion always lose at poker? He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs!"

"What do you get if you cross a river with a bridge? to the other side."

"Peadophiles are just fucking immature assholes"

"Damon girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face sure shows it."

"You were probably conceived at home... they say most accidents happen around the household."