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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair"

"My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back."

"How do you know the guy sucking your dick is gay? He's holding it with his pinky in the air."

"My ex-girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. and if you hold your ear against it, you can smell the sea."

"This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness! That's scary! It means 75% are running around untreated!"

"KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week"

"My son said he wanted to get into organized crime when he grew up. ""Government or private sector?"""

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Pleasant and uplifting."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? FSH!"