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Joke of the Day

"KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week"

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"A man drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends"
"Socialist jokes are the best. Everyone gets them."
"""Hey, did you get a haircut today?"" ""No, I got all of them cut."""
"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those that get it and those that don't."
"What do whales do on dates? Netflix and Krill"
"What do you call a mexican with two dads? No mames!"
"What do they call a whore's fart? A Prosti-Toot"
"What do you say when a dog runs away? Dog-gone!"
"What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one."