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Joke of the Day

"I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on."

"I heading to the beach and i'm going to sneak up from behind annoying couples who are watching the sunset, and pee all over them"

"What did one cow say to the other? Just the udder day!"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? ""Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"""

"did you know jesus was irish? true story, he never held a job, had twelve drinking buddies, and his mum thought he was god....."

"Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read."

"Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth? Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion."

"Typical Kanye West If Kanye West would become a president wouldn't we all be living in Wild West?"

"myself. Sometimes I get ahead of"

"I'm going to have an ear transplant later tonight. Thanks in advance for the well wishes!"