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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to have an ear transplant later tonight. Thanks in advance for the well wishes!"

"Such a hassle that you have to rob a skier before you can rob a 7-Eleven"

"Why are fisherman so successful in business? Because they use ""net"" profits"

"Why does a farmer fuck his sheep at the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back."

"If someone you know is stressed out, be sure to tell them they need to relax. You'd be surprised how many people hadn't thought of that."

"Did you hear about the family with hereditary diarrhea? They said it runs in their jeans"

"What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs? His horse Marengo"

"If it's so good why can't I find a single car wash that carries the Brazilian wax thingy you guys keep tweeting about?"

"Necessity is the mother of invention, and the wife of bill. Bill is the only one in the family with a normal name."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles"