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Joke of the Day

"If your conspiracy theory doesn't involve cats, don't bother me."

"Apple, the FBI, and John McAfee are sitting in an office... Only two were invited, but the third one got in through the backdoor."

"They should make a breathalyzer that can tell if you've consumed energy drinks so it's easier for the cops to catch rapists."

"What's 20 feet long and smells like piss? It's a line dance at the old folks home..."

"I have got my own private jet, my wife owns rest of the hottub though."

"What does an inexperienced public speaker and a pizza place with high workers have in common? They both have problems with delivery."

"Another casualty of 2016... Ronda Rousey's MMA career"

"It's been a while since I partied... Yeah, I can't even remember the last time I blacked out."

"There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle."

"In the year 2065, old men will say 'bae'"