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Joke of the Day

"If your conspiracy theory doesn't involve cats, don't bother me."

"[First Date] Me: I can't believe we're on a date! It's not cause my fathers rich is it? Him: No. He's very handsome too Me: CHECK PLEASE"

"Investigators say the Germanwings copilot suffered from manic depression. One minute he was up, then he was down."

"What celestial body do you give your sweetie on valentines day? An exoplanet."

"What do you call a Asian walking a dog A vegetarian"

"Wow, I got this new lamp from the store and didn't use a dime! But instead, I used 30$"

"I just found out that I'm colorblind It really came out of the purple!"

"What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!"

"Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them."

"Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !"