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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Asian walking a dog A vegetarian"

"I got a new job breaking up suicidal couples. I'm not very good at it, two of them already tied the knot."

"""I missed you today."" ""Awwww I missed you too."" *both frantically reload dueling pistols*"

"[giving grandmother's eulogy] But on the plus side, that's the fastest she ever got down the stairs."

"Chinese salesman I had a long talk with a Chinese man selling shoes the other day. It was a pleasant converse-asian."

"I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking??"

"What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ? I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !"

"Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time."

"Mexican joke What do you call a Mexican without a car? Carlos"

"From my girlfriend's boss: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."