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Joke of the Day

"I went to check out a premature ejaculators' support group this morning But it turns out it's tomorrow."

"I once lost my thesaurus... and I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was."

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. ~What is your sin, child? My husband and I are arguing ~That's very common. ...about my boyfriend."

"I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match."

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"A woman screams as she gives birth... ""What's wrong, honey?"" her husband asks. ""What's wrong?!?"" the woman shouts, ""THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"" ""Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"""

"Latvian potato eating contest. Latvia man enter contest eat potato. Many other contestants. Contest start. Is no potato. All men sad. And hungry."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger"

"""I"" before ""E"" but only at participating locations"

"(NSFW) What do a girl's asshole and a 9 volt battery have in common? You know it's wrong, but eventually you have to put your tongue on it."