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Joke of the Day

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"Did you hear about the dating website for old people? ""I've Fallen In Love And I Can't Get Up"""

"I always keep a hammer in my pocket in case someone asks me to help them fix something so I can immediately break my leg."

"a feminist, a man, and a dog walk into a bar the girl asks the guy, why does the dog have to be here? the man says: ""I thought you would get lonely, bitches gotta stick together"""

"When someone says, ""I haven't seen you in forever,"" a fun response is, ""I know, we're really not that good of friends"""

"""Why is there music coming out of your printer?"" ""That will be the paper jamming again!"""

"I don't have a penis April Fools"

"What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch? There is no cod"

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything..."

"I asked to switch seats because there was a god damn SCREAMING infant next to me, and I couldn't sleep. They told me no. Apparently you're not allowed to move away from your own child."