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Joke of the Day

"my doctor told me to watch my drinking and so i bought some mirrors"

"LPT: Think content you are looking for has been removed from the internet? Just ask the NSA, They always keep backups!"

"What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does."

"I saw a woman with no arms today... ...she was statuesque."

"Cyclists who don't obey the rules of the road should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."

"I pulled my cow's udder, but nothing came out. He's a milk dud."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock KNOCK KNOCK. Who is there? The pilot."

"Girl: ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"" Guy: ""Both, now get in the van."""

"What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it? Uh, like, can you knot? *yessss my first original joke*"

"I hosted a debate between ""Safe Space"" advocates and critics The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation."