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Joke of the Day
"I have no respect for paedophiles... ... they're fucking immature assholes."
Next Joke
"Gay pickup line Shit gurl, are you a chiropractor? Cause you straighten me out."
"Friday night. Friday night- Cant get fucked- Women are sluts or too stuck up- Cant grab pussy- Cant get head - If it werent for lotion Id shoot myself dead"
"[fans out the deck] Pick a card, any card.. Memorize it.. [hits you in the face with a shovel] KING OF SPADES! [walks off]"
"Woman at dentist"
"Her: ""Your funny"" Me: "".... Uh ya... this isn't gonna work"""
"Next year is going to be an odd one. credit goes to my dad."
"Hilary Clinton will make the best president She will save us 25% in salary right from the start."
"Me: My computer broke IT guy: What have you tried so far? Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing"
"Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear. Also sorry for the shoddy manscaping."