46074

Joke of the Day

"I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it'"

"Sodium...Sodium...Sodium...Sodium...Sodium... Batman!"

"The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on."

"I'm going to confess my love to this sore throat so it'll be gone when I wake up in the morning."

"If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work."

"Top advice for resumes: Be VERY careful with placement of dashes. Ex. - First-hand job experience = good. First hand-job experience = bad."

"This headline stunned me- ""Mars to reduce carbon emissions"" Until I realized it was the candy maker ... and not the planet."

"Congratulations. You're 18. On a list of 20 people that I want to kill."

"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"

"I've fallen into a sar chasm. Totally didn't break my legs! It's a regular party down here!"