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Joke of the Day

"This headline stunned me- ""Mars to reduce carbon emissions"" Until I realized it was the candy maker ... and not the planet."

"What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? ...nothing."

"Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more."

"We've got an aviary at home... We've got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to the sounds of '80s synth pop. Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark."

"What kind of toothpaste do MLG use? Pretty much anything, just no Scope."

"I'm going out of this world the way I came in it... Inside a drunk college drop out covered in the blood of an unborn twin."

"Why was the table pissed at Jesus? Because he looked a little cross."

"How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly? The meth head still has teeth."

"""Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"" ""Go on then"" ""NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"" ""That's Superman"" ""Thanks, I've been practicing."""

"Hitler couldn't have been that bad of a guy.. After all, he did kill Hitler"