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Joke of the Day
"Sodium...Sodium...Sodium...Sodium...Sodium... Batman!"
Next Joke
"[pulls up after first date] Me: well, this is my place Her: a bouncy house? Me: you expected a bouncy castle? IM SORRY ""YOUR MAJESTY."""
"you become your ""real you"" when you are hunched over eating a burrito on the toilet and you look up and see yourself in the mirror"
"What's the best way to eat a thanksgiving vegetable? Pick her up out of the wheelchair"
"Why was the Gungan sent back in time by the Weeping Angel? He Jar Jar Blinked."
"It's called Facebook not Boobbook. So next time try to get your face in the picture too? K thanks."
"A Newfie walks into a doctor's office... And says ""Doc b'y, I tinks I got dat H2N2 disease."" Doctor replied ""ummm...don't you mean H1N1?"" Newfie says ""No b'y, dis is twice as bad as dat!"""
"Forgetting what you went into the kitchen to get is one thing but, it's darn scary when you can't remember why you went into the bathroom!"
"One time there was an Irishman who got so drunk He kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel"
"TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer. 'The more you know'"