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Joke of the Day

"I can prove global warming is real. The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already."

"Why couldn't the founding fathers ever get a date? They were revolting"

"Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge."

"What's a holocaust denier's favorite month? July"

"Funny how the more out-of-shape someone is, the more likely they are to refer to their favorite sports team as ""we."""

"The Flat Earth Community has supporters all around the globe."

"I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?"

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from a duck"

"Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription."

"I hate it when you hold the door open for people And all they can say is, ""Oh fucking hell, I can see you having a shit!"""