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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?"

"Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment? Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. Me: ... Employee: ... Me: Or you'll what?"

"What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Not going to prison for murder."

"When someone says Jesus was a virgin ...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?"

"Stinky Bathroom... Know why my bathroom doesn't stink? I exhaust fan the shit out of it."

"I've had a really bad day. First, my wife got ran over by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver."

"[NSFW] A Jelly Baby goes to the Doctor... Jelly Baby: ""Doctor, Doctor, my penis has gone black."" Doctor: ""What have you been doing?!"" Jelly Baby: ""I don't know... Fucking allsorts!"""

"A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents"

"Why did the thesaurus have a creeping feeling? He had an antonym."

"What do you call an illegal immigrant and a pedophile fighting? Alien Vs Predator"