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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"Susie has no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Susie"

"What type of store doesn't move? A stationary store."

"What's the difference between a white Jew and a black Jew? The black Jew sits at the back of the oven."

"Why does the sad crab walk side ways? Because he has nothing to look forward to"

"One time a baby threw up in my mouth & it still wasn't as disgusting as Nicholas Cage's haircut in National Treasure 2."

"How do you get ""Dick"" from Richard? You ask him politely."

"A balding person in denial is probably like maybe it's all in my head."

"[Dads birthday] ""Make a wish Dad"" *Dad blows out candles *Looks around *Looks @ wife Where did our son go? -What son? *Dad cries with joy"

"If you don't have anything nice to say, tweet that sh*t."