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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"I didn't make this joke up myself.. I reddit somewhere. My coworker said that about me and thought I'd share :)"

"What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky? *Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer."

"Why do the birthers...? Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)? Because Barack Obama is black."

"Doctor doctor nobody understands me. What do you mean by that?"

"Any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just need to stab it enough times."

"Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all."

"Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex... I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he's not a full ese."