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Joke of the Day

"So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?"

"If you are what you eat Then I'm a big pussy and my wife is a dick"

"What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left the farm? Bison"

"If I drew a cartoon depicting Mohamed and Harambe dating It would be Haram-Bae"

"The amount of tinder matches I've gotten has skyrocketed since I changed my interests from ""Murdering"" to ""Not Murdering"""

"I'm going through a phase of categorizing my life in phases. I call this one my 'phase' phase."

"I just shook my keyboard upside down. Breakfast is served."

"I thought more people would laugh at my candy joke... But all I heard was a few snickers."

"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"I'm glad George Washington didn't live long enough to see his face printed out and rubbed on the ass of every stripper."