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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ""You're next."" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"How does a blonde man get really rich,stupid and a candidate for president ? small loan of 100 million dollars"

"Why do school nurses bring a red crayon to work? So they can draw blood"

"What do you call the first Afghan off the boat? Amhere. What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel. What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim. :)"

"What's the most googled word in Mozilla Firefox? Chrome."

"I was going to grease my mechanic's hand with a $20 bill for the phenomenal job he did but ... he already overcharged me by $200."

"Arrested for not picking up after his seeing eye dog, the blind man pleaded, ""I didn't see shit!"""

"I am sorry I wasn't being completely honest when I said I was normal."

"""Two messages, Sir. First, your tea has run out"" ""Correct English is 'you've run out of tea'. What else?"" ""You've walked out of wife"""