196061

Joke of the Day

"If you are what you eat Then I'm a big pussy and my wife is a dick"

"What do you say to a robot with a good looking bum? Nice Assimo."

"Y'all know what they call Jamaica? Grease of Western Hemisphere. Disclaimer: Does anyone here know where this is from? Heard my friend say it, was wondering where he got it from."

"My dad is hung but then again, everything seemed bigger when I was a kid."

"Don't introduce a guy to another guy. No guy needs to know any more guys."

"Why can't a schizophrenic kleptomaniac become President? He always takes office clothes."

"Her: ""How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!"" Me: ""I know, I'm completely exhausted."""

"Wanna burn fat quickly and without dieting? Here, take this gasoline and matches."

"Someone left a really nice couch out on the street so I went home and got a lamp and TV and this is where I live now."

"Why are cows lazy and fat? Because they don't like to mooooooooooooove."