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Joke of the Day
"Lately I've been really honest with people and so far only 47 people are mad at me"
Next Joke
"When I die... I just want 2016 to be my pallbearer, so it can let me down one last time."
"You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing."
"I have sex almost every night! Almost Monday night, almost Tuesday night..."
"Stalin and Hitler Stalin: Hey Hitler, Wanna Hear a Joke? Hitler: Sure Broh Stalin: Stalingrad Hitler: I Don't Get It Stalin: Exactly"
"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles."
"Sir, there is a complaint filed against you. You called the prime minister a whore... OK. Who filed the complaint, prime minister or the whore?"
"If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer."
"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"
"If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings."