45613

Joke of the Day

"Executioner: any last words? Me: pineapple belongs on pizza. Hit the switch"

"I went to the doctors today told him ""I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem"". The doctor said, ""Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that""."

"I was going to post a Michael Brown joke.. ..but I'm afraid it would just get shot down."

"Im going to make only Paula Deen recipes from now on... So when someone is like,""Oh that was great!!"", ill know they're racist."

"There are many fish in the sea. So while waiting I'll just play with my rod."

"Why are black people so tall? Because their knee grows!"

"NARRATOR: Here we see the gentle reindeer gamboling in the woods... DASHER: [pushing stack of Xmas cookies] Raise NARRATOR: I SAID GAMBOLING"

"I bet when kittens go to work in kitten offices that there's always one kitten whose cubicle is decorated with pictures of lonely old ladies"

"What was Hitler's favorite battery? The nein volt"

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."