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Joke of the Day

"Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?"

"Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is bullshit!"

"Pretty disappointed to find out that ""Toys for Tots"" isn't a program where I trade my kids's toys for delicious tater tots."

"Why are the undead so angry all the time? They have mummy issues."

"What do you call a female pilot's vagina? A cock pit."

"New Italian Navy Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottoms in their ships? So the can see the old Italian Navy."

"Best thing I've seen on Facebook all day: ""I thought Ariana Grande was a font."""

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw!"

"Did you hear about the guy whose toilet flushes with hot water? He thinks he's real hot shit."

"When I found out Carl was a beekeeper I stopped loaning him bees."