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Joke of the Day

"Though my heart is a fist, I really do my girlfriend"

"I think my gran has Alzheimer's. She called me Dave earlier when my name is Carson. Either that or she's thinking of someone else while we're having sex."

"Any one want to get a Helen Keller thread going? What do you do after you rape Helen Keller? Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom."

"I'd tell a chemestry joke but I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reaction."

"What do you call a person who steals and is then praised by his/her friends? A Redditor."

"Why sacrifice virgins? Because they've done nothing to deserve it."

"What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common? They both want to make it rain."

"My ex is having a really hard time moving on From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)."

"Why would John F. Kennedy make a horrible boxer? Because he can't take a shot to the head."

"I heard Christians only count 1 through 9. I wonder what happens if they say 10?"