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Joke of the Day

"My ex is having a really hard time moving on From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)."

"If storks bring white babies and crows bring black babies, then what brings no babies? Swallows"

"I walked into the boss's office and handed him a pear. ""What's this for?"" He asked. ""A pay rise."" I replied. ""My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."""

"At work I noticed the computer department have started putting Christmas decorations up IT's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend? He lost it."

"I got kicked out of a store trying to buy condoms All I wanted was to use their fitting room!"

"What do you call a blind german? A Not - see (Nazi)"

"What's the difference between Reese and Tyrese? Reese was born Witherspoon but Tyrese stole his."

"british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza? british guy: tea british waiter: jolly good choice [both laugh britishingly]"

"If Captain America's shield is vibranium, then... Hawkeye's shield is Quicksilver"