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Joke of the Day

"I think my gran has Alzheimer's. She called me Dave earlier when my name is Carson. Either that or she's thinking of someone else while we're having sex."

"Why are lesbians superstitious? Because they are always knocking on wood."

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"

"Have you heard the joke about the happy roman? He was glad he ate her."

"Love is like a fart If you have to try its just shit"

"who needs a bill of rights...? Im bill and im right!!!"

"Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, ""Did you bring the lube?"" As loud as possible."

"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""

"What do you call a bunch of woman in a tree A country"

"My wife and I decided we don't want to have children anymore So anyone who wants one, leave us a number and adress and we will bring you one."