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Joke of the Day

"Any one want to get a Helen Keller thread going? What do you do after you rape Helen Keller? Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom."

"I rang my boss and said ""what is the difference between work and your daughter?"" ""I don't know"" ""I am not coming into work today""."

"My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Oasis songs. I said maybe."

"My wife always accuses me of having a favourite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally."

"Really short Mexicans should be called paragraphs Because they're not long enough to be an essay..."

"[creating humans] GOD: Make them imperfect... ANGEL: Okay...done... GOD: Now make them apologize to Me all the time for being imperfect."

"What is the hardest part of telling a good gay joke? Keeping a straight face"

"What do you call 5 people sitting In two rows? Tetris"

"Some guy was reported to have gone crazy in a public bathroom. I guess you could say he lost his shit."

"I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn"". Stupid firemen."