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Joke of the Day
"We're probably accidentally giving ghosts handjobs all the time."
Next Joke
"Spent 15min tracing a suspicious noise that tuned out to be the lid not screwed on the Coke bottle tightly enough. If you need a top sleuth."
"My internet connection is just like my Ex-Girlfriend Unstable"
"Please pray for me as I make the difficult transition from pumpkin spice to eggnog lattes."
"Life advice: 1.Never be afraid to say what's on your mind 2.Never be afraid to do what's on your mind 3.Don't take life advice on Twitter"
"I yell at my grandma to see if she is still alive It's a win win situation, either she's still alive or my inheritance just came in."
"""Twilight"" is the timeless story of a girl who must choose between ripped abs or clingy dependency."
"How does Bilbo take his tea? Bag-in"
"Yea, let's do that Old bull and young bull are enjoying a snack atop of hill one morning, and the young bull shouts 'let's run down there and fuck all these heifers!' Old bull replies ' let's walk'"
"Whats a Mexicans Favorite sport? Cross-Crountry"