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Joke of the Day

"I ruin friend groups by always suggesting we start a band too early"

"Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly."

"Q:Why did the banana walk out of the movie theater? A:the film didn't appeal to him."

"No point I'll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless"

"I don't need a drink in my hand to be happy. I'm also happy if the drink is on a table as long as it's still within arm's reach."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today"

"Why are boxers never late to their fights? Because they have developed very good punch quality."

"Freedom of speech only means you can't be jailed for it. You still have to be accountable for what comes out of your stupid, bigoted face."

"What did ISIS say after the terrorist attack? Nice"

"Why did Timmy fall off the swings? Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Timmy.."