45409

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school"

"*trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors."

"Gay men are so mean. They're all fucking assholes."

"do you know the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? one less drunk"

"""Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem,"" I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct"

"If I was a cop, I would write the word 'Influence' on a bridge, and pull over anyone that drives under it."

"I like telling science puns... Just to see the reaction..."

"What did the bartender say to the jumper cables? You better not try to start anything."

"I like my women like I like my scotch 12-14 years old"

"Nothing sets a bad precedence like your boss catching you actually working."