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Joke of the Day

"""Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem,"" I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct"

"Why was the rooster angry? He just found his chicken strips. (Courtesy of my creative bartender pal)"

"I saw a gay bar with the entrance boarded up, but it was open... Everyone goes in the back door anyway"

"3... 2... 1... sandwich? You fool! You've pressed the LUNCH button, not the LAUNCH button!"

"What do you call a beautiful girl in Boston? A tourist."

"When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky. They're always 20 years behind everything. Mark Twain"

"What do you call a guy who likes touching unripened cheese? A fetaphile"

"Movie idea: Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are called on by the US government to take their shirts off and punch people who read books."

"This day in history. 1940. Carbon-14 was discovered, allowing us to estimate the age of organic materials such as wood, leather, and Cher."

"I've always had an over-active imagination. Like that time I found myself drowning in an ocean of Tango it took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."