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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night."

"Something good did come out of last night: I talked to my mom and my fiancee on the phone while they were crying- and it wasn't about something I'd done!"

"Why did the blonde woman have bruises around her belly button? Because blonde guys arent that smart either..."

"Doctor Doctor some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam. You're too tents."

"Whats the best thing about duct tape? It turns NO! NO! NO! into MMM MMM MMM"

"ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments"

"Try it on your friends... Guy walks up to a blonde woman, ""Hey do you get many blonde jokes?"" She says ""No, not really."" ""Yeah, that's kinda what I figured."""

"The only B word you should call a woman is ""beautiful."" Bitches love being called beautiful."

"The Wright Way ""I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."" -Steven Wright"

"How do you stop a monster digging up your garden? Take his spade away."