45280

Joke of the Day

"[Jesus on a blind date] Christians: ""Hmm, you seemed whiter in your profile picture"""

"Him: I love nerd girls Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can't feel water, only a change in temperature? Him: no. not like that."

"I'm a secondhand veggietarian. I eat cows. Cows eat grass. It's science. Merica."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out man."

"Studies show [NSFW] Studies show 9/10 people enjoy gang rape"

"What do we want?! Low flying planes! When do we want them?! Neeeeeeooooowwwwwwwww"

"I think my favorite sexual organ is the one in the Milan Cathedral because that is the only organ I've actually had sex with."

"What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac? He had a *lovely finish*."

"I bet when you barge in on a chicken rapist and say ""Guess what!?"" they really mean it when they say ""Chicken butt."""

"I have two requirements in my will.... 1) I want my remains spread out at Disney World 2) I do not want to be cremated."