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Joke of the Day

"I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn't reach the cookies in the cupboard."

"""50 Shades of Clay: The Aiken Story"" might've been worse."

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."

"I won the prize for laziest person a live... I got a-trophy"

"What is the best way to stop rape? Consent"

"""What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?"" ""He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."""

"Why does Santa always have a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"My wife and I tried anal for the first time... is it supposed to hurt this much? i couldn't sit upright for a while..."

"What If When You Die They Ask You ""How Was Heaven?"""

"What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there? Arrrh, it's driving me nuts"