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Joke of the Day
"If I wore these clothes yesterday but no one saw me in them, did I really wear them."
Next Joke
"why did the chicken cross the playground...... TO GET TO THE OVER FUCKING SLIDE, EH EH EH GEEEEEEET IT HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA *pulls the trigger"
"I accidentally hired a wordsmith instead of a locksmith and now my latched threshold has been compromised by a metallic puzzle solver."
"The church across the street opened a new Jesus-themed ferris wheel. Their accountant told me they needed it to turn a prophet."
"Hi Mrs. Smith ... can Johnny come out and play baseball with us? Oh you mean little boy ... you know Johnny is a quadraplegic ! Yes I know Mrs. Smith. We want to use him for home plate !"
"What do prime numbers and white girls have in common? They literally can't even."
"What kind of country has a clown problem? The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!"
"What do you call a woman who is paralysed from the waist down? Married."
"Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)"
"She was only a lumberjack's daughter ... ... but she always gave me wood."