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Joke of the Day

"Don't worry, they'll tell you. How do you know OP put the punchline in the title?"

"the hardest part about hitting a child in public... is avoiding getting caught by their parent's."

"What spell does a Hogwarts student use when they pregnant? fetus deletus!"

"Today I woke up to a blow job.. ..never falling asleep with my mouth open again."

"The Flash was caught high... He seemed to have taken speed."

"So Hillary Clinton logs into her e-mail [deleted]"

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 30 years."

"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"Dammit I hate when the bus breaks down and I am far and away the most delicious looking passenger."