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Joke of the Day
"the hardest part about hitting a child in public... is avoiding getting caught by their parent's."
Next Joke
"Ghosts... I didn't believe in ghosts until this one night, it was like 3 am, and I decided to start believing in ghosts."
"""Doctor, is the baby healthy?"" ""Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her."" ""Huh?"" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask"
"My friend offered me a brojob I guess he must have been bro curious"
"There was a competition in the park today, who could go the longest without sitting or laying down. I was outstanding."
"""Wow, that's great!"" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died."
"This is how good my dog is, LOL. I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don't chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield"
"honestly it just makes me fat free italian when u tell me salad dressings aren't a good way to describe emotions"
"A curious tradition -- to look at a newborn baby and say to yourself, ""Because of your DNA, one day you will rule over me."""
"What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas."