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Joke of the Day

"I'm not gay I've just got an alternative sexuality."

"*breaks out of prison *hunted by police for weeks *crawls thru 22 miles of mud to your house* Me: <taps on your window> DID YOU GET MY TEXT?"

"I went to the Zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a Shitzu"

"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."

"I was watching a documentary about Islam the other day... But eventually I just got bored and changed the channel. I never did get to the bomb making part! *^OC^as ^^far ^^as ^^I ^^know*"

"""Scientists discover female insect that has a penis"". Bet it originates from Thailand."

"Fancy coming back to mine for a few shots ? Fuck off Oscar, I'm not falling for that one!"

"Did you hear the one about the sidewalk? It's all over town!"

"Who is a presents favorite quarterback? Tim TeBOW"

"What do the French learn in basic training? How to surrender in twenty-seven different languages."