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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Harriet Tubman will be on the $20? Does this mean it'll be worth 70% of its value because she's a woman? Or does it mean it'll be worth 3/5th because she's black?"

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"Why are fat people like relationships? Most of them don't work out."
"So I saw my mother-in-law getting beaten up by six guys ""Aren't you going to do something?"" My wife asked. ""Nah, six should be enough."" (Les Dawson)"
"How amazing is Michael Phelps? He's got like a Brazilian Medals."
"My father grounded me... He said if he ever saw me in front of the computer he'd smash my face in the keybouvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem Ossass"
"Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?"
"Are you a cop from New York? Because you take my breath away."
"How do you get down from a horse? You don't. You get down from a duck."
"Pokemon GO servers Yeah, that's it."
"A boycott is just a smaller version of a manbed."
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