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Joke of the Day

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent."

"You're going to regret thinking of this. Game!"

"So cats CAN'T fend for themselves for 4 weeks after all. Even though I left mini frozen pizzas, cash for emergencies and my mobile number."

"If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car."

"I'm going to start making my own baby food... What's the best cut of baby?"

"Sometimes it just doesn't feel like putting the lotion on its skin."

"Why Wasn't Hitler Allowed to Host Jeapoardy? He kept asking the contestants if their answers were their final solution."

"How can you tell if you're texting with a dyslexic pervert? You get this: ===D==8="

"I was at the Apple store The Employee recommended the iPhone 6S. I said ""That sounds S-septional!"" *Stupid grin*"

"Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset? Because you didn't ask him what band he's in."