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Joke of the Day

"What do you call people that you hate? Clouds, because once they are gone it's a beautiful day."

"FIFA is a nonprofit. That's it. That's the joke"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"hello secretary? i need you to go to that website where you can combine pokemon and combine mew and squirtle, print it out and bring it here"

"I have an addiction to Mexican food. But I don't like to taco bout it."

"I Used To Date A Girl With A Lazy Eye... Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."

"my tortoiseshell sunglasses make me see the whole world through the kelvin instagram filter"

"GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field"

"My Welsh Friend I asked my welsh mate how many sexual partners he had had, but I never got to find out. Everytime he tried counting them he fell asleep."