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Joke of the Day

"I was cleaning one of my garden statues and accidentally cracked part of its face I guess you could say I don't gnome eye own strength"

"Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 50 seconds. Poor guy."

"Seasonal Star Wars joke > **Darth Vader**: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. > **Luke**: How? > **Darth Vader**: I felt your presents. EDIT: Formatting"

"1+1=3 It does take about 9 months though"

"If a tree falls in the forest and kills a mime... ...would anybody care?"

"Someone was taken down to the police station after they were caught drinking vodka from a coffee cup while driving. They took a mug shot."

"What did the accountant with constipation do? He worked is out with a pencil."

"Why did the chicken... ...cross the Mobius strip?"

"The person who invented knocking should win the Nobell prize"

"Nobody uses DVDs. Most of em' use Torrents. Hence DVD Rip"