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Joke of the Day

"What's a ghost's favorite sexual act? A boooooooooooobjob"

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"If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, let me sit for 15-30 secs, plug me back in and see if that works."
"A good way to stand out from the competition at a job interview is to bring your resume on a floppy disk."
"*Lowers raised hand. Where's the nearest cycle path you meant? Thought you said psychopath."
"I'm having a completely dry January... ...no foreplay whatsoever. (Stolen from Gary Delaney's show this evening - great show Gary!)"
"How do you reply when someone on /r/askscience asks you on a date? [deleted]"
"What is Jar Jar Binks' favorite food? Meesa Soup"
"What is the difference between a yogurt and america? If you leave the yogurt for 100 years alone, it develops a culture."
"How about some snappy one-liners? Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it."
"I like to listen to the Star Fox theme song to congratulate myself for having a successful string of social interactions"