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Joke of the Day

"Truth about atheists. They've got nothing on Jesus."

"What is a prostitutes favorite food? Anything but blue waffles."

"judas: i would never betray jesus he's the best jesus: my favorite movie is the Minions Movie judas: i am going to betray the son of God"

"The 3 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work.. if you have a 2 second dog"

"If Thom Yorke and Emily Haines hooked up... ...would it be called radiometric dating?"

"""Name?"" queries the Starbucks barista. The almighty feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl only sighs."

"What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open? Ten-ish"

"13YO: Why's he happy? He got dog-piled. Me: He made a lot of groundage before getting put down. Husband: Yardage. Tackled. PLEASE LEAVE."

"Salamanders are the most passive aggressive animal. You grab their tail and they're like ""have that one, I don't even want it"""

"Never eat bear steaks... they're too gristly. (grizzly if you didn't get it)"