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Joke of the Day

"Never eat bear steaks... they're too gristly. (grizzly if you didn't get it)"

"IPhone and Macbook users."

"See you later masturbater Afterwhile pedophile"

"This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents."

"Just completed a 0.00 mi run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies #RunKeeper"

"Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend."

"Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today , she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead , until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram"

"My girlfriend attended a 3 day course on ""How Not to talk on the phone"" but missed the beginning. She mistook the course to be ""How to talk on the phone."""

"The school year is like a burrito... After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart."