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Joke of the Day

"What's the most confusing compliment to give a woman in her 40's? If you had a daughter, I'd fuck her."

"Used way too much moisturizer and I may have to call in slick tomorrow."

"Bernie supporters voting for Trump isn't like drinking bleach, its like drinking castor oil... we know its going to be awful, but we have something we *really* need to get rid of."

"What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL"

"My wife wants to meet new people & have fun, so she made me join a Bridge Club.... ...I jump off next Tuesday"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano? Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)"

"What do you call a cold North African? A Brrbrr"

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tits a lot"

"I knew a website with a lot of zelda stuff But I forgot the link."

"Pimp my ride I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA. Should look cool on my black jeep."