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Joke of the Day

"How did the farmhand get a job at reddit? He put ""excellent reposter"" on his resume."

"Waiter Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !"

"I exercise at the gym because I can't exercise restraint when it comes to everything that's bad for me."

"If life give you melons... You're probably dyslexic."

"When I sing with my headphones in I think, ""Why don't I have a record deal?!""...Then I take them out and I know why."

"""Can I watch you open it?"" -Weird UPS guy"

"Aliens: take me to your leader Me: Hey babe, is it okay if we have company?"

"A snake is what happens when a string goes ""what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"""

"The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat."

"knock knock who's it? omelet. omelet who? am late, open the door."