44370

Joke of the Day

"Whats the hardest part about slaughtering a pig? He keeps saying ""I have a wife and kids, please don't kill me, I'm just doing my job"""

"What kind of shoes do Frogs wear? Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you"

"Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50."

"I went to a shredded cheese convention the other day... it was grate"

"A man with a gun shot his keyboard it typed POW"

"The shortest sentence in the English language is ""go."" What is the longest? Life without parole"

"The worst excuse I have ever came up with."

"*grandma sobbing at my graduation* ""Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up there."" *wipes tear* ""But they didn't want to come."""

"*4yo comes in from garden with worm* Wife: TAKE IT AWAY!!! *4yo puts on top hat as I throw him a cane and starts tap dancing*"

"I thought my neighborhood had turned very pro-Trump... Turns out they just put out their jack-o-lanterns."